Sharing my slice of life (#slice2013) over at Two Writing Teachers. Please join us!
One of my favorite things about this time of year is reflecting on where the year began. A year ago I was planning on becoming an adoptive mom to an older child. The little boy I was going to adopt was amazing. His eyes still held so much hope after a life filled with so much disappointment and pain. He would be moving in with me in January.
It didn't happen.
As is true with much of adoption, it's a world filled with joy and celebration as well as pain and disappointment. The reasons why it didn't happen aren't important. It changed me. It's been a year and I miss him. Being a woman of faith, I believe that this is in God's plan...but that doesn't make me miss him less. (If you're interested in reading more about that journey, it's on my blog Uncommon Path to Motherhood.)
Life has taken a different direction. I chose another path for now. It's good. Life doesn't look like I thought it would. I imagined a family with lots of children and chaos and laughter and love. My life is quieter than that. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for my friends. I'm so grateful for my dog, Leo. I'm grateful for my life. This life. There's a journey I'm on and I can't imagine where it's going. It doesn't look like I thought it would look...but I'm ok with that (and that took a long time to say and mean).
As a new year approaches, I begin to plan...(I'm reminded of the saying...we make plans and God laughs.) but I can't help it, I need to plan. What things do I want to do? I set goals, challenge myself, pick a word to guide my year. There's a quote from the movie Hope Floats that I'm reminded of now as I write this:
"...beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too..."