The opportunity to write and share poetry with amazing teachers and poets has truly inspired me. I wrote a poem and we workshopped it the second week of the workshop. I revised it and the revised poem is below. I'd love feedback. If you'd like to read the first draft of the poem, click here...
I spent some time with the notes and suggestions from other teacher poets and here's my revised poem...what do you think?
At ten years old, I begged
Please! Mom PLEASE! I want a pair of Dr. Scholl’s…
just like everyone else!
Gripping my red Dr. Scholl’s
I carefully put them on
blister my feet and cause me to trip.
I return to my flip-flops,
I’m not like everyone else…
My brown-bagged lunch
sits in front of me in the teacher’s room,
reaching in I grab a vitamin water and my peanut butter sandwich.
As I peel back the silvery foil I hear
An innocent voice in a room, crowded with familiar
Did your husband make your lunch?
The foil rips
and I smooth out the wrinkles,
Avoiding eye contact, I say
That would be remarkable...but I don’t have one.
The self-deprecating laugh doesn’t hide the pain,
Instead shines a spotlight
I’m not like everyone else...
Another table, another day,
another innocent question
So do you have kids?
My breath catches as I imagine saying Yes.
How I long to say yes…
and to tell stories of my kids and their antics,
to complain about no sleep and
shake my head while admitting that it’s all worth it…
Instead, I say No.
But it doesn’t tell the whole story…
The story of how I spent a year preparing to adopt a child
The story of how I came within weeks of adopting a precious little boy
instead my hands, my hugs, and my heart remain empty
Blistered feet, empty hugs
Mementos of my story
Not like anyone else…