Think back to the you in college...for me that's over twenty years ago. What did you imagine for your life? When I'd dream of my life, it never looked like it does now. I'm living my plan B.
Before I continue, I struggle with the term, plan B. I feel like it means second best. The leftovers. The dregs. Maybe I should quote Robert Frost instead and use the phrase, "...the road not taken". That's a poem I've always loved. I never knew that I'd be living it.
|TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,|
|And sorry I could not travel both|
|And be one traveler, long I stood|
|And looked down one as far as I could|
|To where it bent in the undergrowth;||5|
|Then took the other, as just as fair,|
|And having perhaps the better claim,|
|Because it was grassy and wanted wear;|
|Though as for that the passing there|
|Had worn them really about the same,||10|
|And both that morning equally lay|
|In leaves no step had trodden black.|
|Oh, I kept the first for another day!|
|Yet knowing how way leads on to way,|
|I doubted if I should ever come back.||15|
|I shall be telling this with a sigh|
|Somewhere ages and ages hence:|
|Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—|
|I took the one less traveled by,|
|And that has made all the difference.|
On my road, I'm alone much of the time. I travel my way, on my time, at my speed. My success and my failure land on my shoulders. There's freedom in that. There's also loneliness.
There's the obvious loneliness of living in a home without other people. The other loneliness is the one of misunderstanding. What I mean is so few people get to be forty-two years old and single and childless...and being in a boat where there are so few passengers can be isolating...scary...hard. There have been weekends when I spend two days and don't speak to another person. (Thank goodness for my dog, Bella!)
Last weekend was one of those weekends and I struggled through it. I wanted to turn back and take the other road. It was there before me once...but to do that would be to ignore the beauty and joy that do exist in my life. I need to stop focusing on the line, "I shall be telling this with a sigh..." and start focusing on "And that has made all the difference."
My plan B isn't leftovers, it's my plan. There are so many reasons why my life is amazing & a gift...
1. Kind, supportive, and loving friends
2. Family who loves me no matter what
3. Freedom to make my own choices
5. My career...I love my job!
6. Writing and reading whenever I want
7. Cheerios for dinner (sometimes)
8. My PLN!
9. Church family
10. My faith
When I think about my life choices, I have no regrets. I've made mistakes (I'm beginning to sound like a Barry Manilow song) but the mistakes and choices have led me here. Here is good. Here is joy. Here is plan B.
I love my plan B!
Inspired by http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/12/29/whats-your-plan-b/