Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Internal Voice: The Judge

Thank you to Stacey, Betsy, Dana, Tara, Beth, Anna, Kathleen & Deb for this amazing platform to write and share writing! What a wonderful community you've created! I'm honored to be part of it. Join us at Two Writing Teachers.

Do you have a internal voice? A critical voice. I call mine, "Judge". The one that makes declarations and insists you're not good enough. Mine is loud and mean. I've decided that my "Judge" is a big, fat liar.


Recently my critical inner voice has been drowning out every other voice. It's all I've heard...or maybe it's the only one I've been listening to. That voice is loud and negative. It doesn't trust, it's suspicious. It's rude and disrespectful. It's judgmental and unforgiving. I hear it all the time. It's toxic.


How did I recognize it? This has been a snowy winter with lots of cold weather and this past weekend, the warmth returned. I was out walking Bella and my first thought was, "Ugh! My allergies. I'm going to get sick. This is terrible!" Why so negative, I thought? And it hit me like a ton of bricks...that's not me, that's the Judge...always looking on the dark and gloomy side. Complaining. Never grateful.


Winter can be a time when I isolate myself. It can be a sad time. Honestly, I've been battling some mild depression lately. I realized that it's the Judge. I've been listening to the terrible things she's been saying and I've been agreeing. It. Stops. Now.


We all have that voice...don't we? We all have ways to combat it. My weapon is my writing. When I write, I feel better and I don't believe that voice. Writing helps me figure out life. When I write, I'm able to tell the judge, "Shhh! You are wrong! Go away now!"

Spring's coming. Warmer weather. More sunshine. It represents rebirth. I'm ready.

19 comments:

  1. I have that voice, at times, too. It usually surfaces when something new is happening and I find the voice thinking out loud, why would I want to do that?
    Kevin

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    1. Something new...yes, that sounds about right! Thank you, friend!

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  2. I definitely have that voice, too--no doubt. I had a yoga teacher who helped me through a rough depression-filled patch in my life some years ago that suggested when That Voice started speaking, ramping up, getting on her soapbox I simply stop and ask, "Is this true?" I'm so patient and kind towards strangers and my children and my parents...I remind myself to be patient and kind towards myself, too. But it's a struggle! Glad Spring is coming for you and for all of us.

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  3. I have that voice too and it hits me with my writing also. I am continuing to learn it's important for me to write the words down and not as important to push the publish button. Hoping for a warmer and sunny rest of your week.

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  4. Why is it that we continue to let that terrible voice remain a part of our us? If it was a person, we surely would have ended that relationship a long time ago. Keep using your writing to tell it to go away. Soon, it will listen. :)

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  5. Oh amen Michelle. Yes! We all have that judge inside of us. I am so glad that you are able to quiet that mean, fat, lying judge when you write. That in itself is a gratitude moment. Have you read the piece by B. Flowers titled Madman, Architect, Carpenter, Judge: Roles and the Writing Process? Your writing reminded me of her ideas. I love your beautiful blog, the colors and the font. I hear the seeds of home in your writing. Thank you. Spring come on in!

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  6. Battling with that voice lately too! No winter here, but I feel like this time of year I often feel more vulnerable.Glad you have ideas for quieting the Judge!

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  7. I love how you personified that negative side that can get the upper hand if allowed. Lately I'm surrounded by teammates with these voices and then see I become what I am around. And I hate that. But writing definitely helps me too. Your writing tools look really cool, too. I think I might need to get me some cooler writing utensils.

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  8. I have that voice. It hits me at the most vulnerable moments and can send me to tears. I love how you have made that internal negativity into a bad guy. That's what it is and we can control its presence. Tell it to go away and let a little sunshine ( and cool pens ) shine through. Here's to rebirth!

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  9. The surprise to me is that that "voice" like your Judge appears when I least expect it. Most of the time I just get busy with something I enjoy doing & it disappears, but I hear you, Michelle. I guess all of us have it most of the time. Love your words, "Shhh! You are wrong! Go away now!"

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  10. Isn't it crazy that one voice can be so much more powerful than 25 others who are telling us that we are just fine as we are? You are more than just fine. You are a powerful force in the world lifting students, friends, and teachers. I am so happy to be learning more and more about you. Shut that Judge down.

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  11. My internal voice has been acting up more than usual lately! Winter must be their busy season. Keep writing because your honest words really touch others who are going through similar circumstances. Thank you! (On a side note, I love the pic with the journal and pens - school supply envy!)

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  12. Darkness and cold give the Judge more power. When you write, you make your own light to fight the Judge. Keep writing! And smiling!

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  13. We all have that voice, Michelle. Tell it to quiet down. :)

    Winter is almost over, and I hope the sunshine and warm weather will lift your mood.

    And keep writing!

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  14. We all have that voice, but are not as wise as you at dealing with it. Well done!

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  15. oh, that voice! we all battle with it, I suppose. I love that you are dealing with The Judge well! Keep on keeping on!
    s

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  16. I have that voice as well. The one that tells me at times that what I do is just not as good as the people around me. I do think that the winter and early darkness don't help. As these days get longer, I can't wait to bask in the sunlight and get back to enjoying life!
    Hope your Judge starts to leave as the spring arrives...

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  17. I have had some serious talks with my judge lately. What is it about winter days? The spring we will break out of this cocoon and give the judge the boot. I'm glad writing is your safe place. Sometimes that is where I hear my judge the loudest.

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